Cherishing Family Of Choice: A Tribute to My Godmother

Trigger Warning: This week's blog talks about death and grief.

I’ve always believed that we have two families in life: family by blood and family by choice. It just so happens that my family of choice has made a beautiful impact on me that I’ll never forget.

This month of July has been one of the hardest times of my adult life because I lost my dear Godmother, who has been a part of my life since I can remember. What started out as a friendship between her and my mother became an anchor in my life that I will deeply miss. Her name was Rose Pulliam, but we called her “Pulliam.”

From answering every question my inquisitive young mind had, to always having McDonald’s money when I asked, to looking out for me at basketball and football games when I was a cheerleader in high school, to sending me birthday and anniversary gifts, shopping for my children, 3+ hour phone calls, making plans to retire, becoming my kids' nanny, and one day visiting the Hamptons and Martha’s Vineyard together. Pulliam was an integral part of my world!

When she was diagnosed last year with a terminal illness, I never once imagined it would take her from us. Pulliam was still planning, laughing, shopping, talking, and showing up in my life the way she always had in spite of. I never knew it was as bad as it was because she never allowed it to overshadow the good. I now believe that in all the pain, fear, and uncertainty she must’ve felt, she also felt love and comfort in going about life as normal by choice.

When I had the opportunity to talk to her one last time from my beautiful Godsister, I took the time to tell Pulliam just how much she meant to me and how I’d never forget her love, servant heart, and spirit of compassion. She made an indelible mark on my life and so many others, and for that, I am grateful and full of memories that will fill the void in this season.

Pulliam has been promoted from my “Fairy Godmother” to my Guardian Angel! Her love and light still shines bright!

In closing, if you’ve been fortunate enough to have a close family by blood or by choice, my hope is that you cherish them—enjoy every moment with them, and show up for them in ways that let them know they are valued and loved, not just for what they can do for you, but for what they mean to you.

Until next time on the parking lot of life…
- Christian